Staying in One Room..... For Ages

Hey guys! I hope that you're well!

So a few posts ago, I talked about the internet being like a house with many rooms and today, I want to share with you a new experience that I've had in this house that is my relationship with other people on the internet and something I didn't realise before.

So in the past couple of days, I've made the most awesome new friend on the internet through Facebook and awesome for a couple of reasons that I'd like to share with you before we go onto the crux of our discussion.

Numero uno, I actually know the guy irl and he's two years younger than me. We went to the same middle school and now because we're at the same high school, we can share a lot about teachers and about experiences and about the town that we live in. I've not been able to do that with someone on the internet in ages and it's been so refreshing! Numero dos, because he's younger than me, I've been able to offer him my advice and experience about exams and it makes me so happy being able to reassure someone who's going through what I've been through and being able to help. Always a wonderful feeling!

Now onto the crux of what I've discovered and that is, he replies so quickly! I don't think I've ever held out such a long conversation with such rapid responses in ages and don't get me wrong, the conversation is wonderful but whoaaaaaa. Breathe. First of all, I don't want this to come across as me complaining because honestly, everyone's different when it comes to social media just like how we're all different in our vernacular in real life. But what I've realised, especially with the socially packed day I've had, is that breathing space is so important, to have time to just relax and absorb what's happened.

Having constant awesome conversation doesn't really give you time to appreciate it because you feel like you have to respond and keep it going. I know with some of my best internet friends, I love being able to come away and just have the few things that we talked about going through my mind and not having to worry about forgetting them or not being able to process my stance on them. That breathing time just to be organically with yourself, as you would be without the internet or at least without the presence of other people is so important. I know that if I try and sustain the conversation, I will end up becoming more and more introverted because I'll crave that alone time more and more.

There's definitely a balance to be struck somewhere in the middle. Social media can be really unhealthy because it creates an environment that wouldn't happen irl, as I discussed in my other blog post. I think generally, it's really important to not be afraid offending someone and just take a break to be with yourself.

I don't know if this comes from some sort of fear of silence? I was talking about it with a friend of mine and I guess on the internet, you don't necessarily always get organic silences like you would irl. You don't have the physical cues to go off of about if someone wants to say something or if they're thinking or doing something else. It's a whole different ball game!

Finally, you guys all know this but I know with me, I'm such a big culprit of this and it's just having a lot of exciting stuff to share. If you're talking to someone and they have to do all of the listening then it's not a conversation, it's a monologue. But listening's not just not talking, it's taking it in and being excited and interested and I think it takes a lot more than you might originally think.

But anyway, what do you guys think on the topic? I'd love to hear it :D
I hope that you guys all have wonderful days and I'll talk to you very soon indeed :)

What can you give your friend?

Hey guys! I hope that you're well!

I've wanted to write this post ever since I saw a specific video from Soul Pancake and the awesome Julian and their series 'The Science of Love'. This video specifically intrigued me from it's title (of course) which was 'Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?' which of course is probably one of the most asked questions ever. But when I watched the video, what intrigued me most was how the pairs reacted to one particular set of question right at the beginning of the video and whether you have a friend of the opposite sex who you're close to or not, I honestly thought that it'd be great to share with you guys!

So right at the beginning of the video, each of the partners were shown a velcro board with qualities on it and they were asked to place inside the circle what they thought they needed from the other person in their friendship. That, of course, was the easy part!

Afterwards, the partners were then asked to consider what their partner needed out of their friendship and for many of them, they hadn't actually consciously considered this before! This led to it taking more time than you might've expected from good friends! However, it was also nice in some ways for them to be able to take the opportunity to actually consider the question because so often in friendships, we're so much more concerned with what we're getting out of it and if we're having our needs met, but what about the other person?

The awesome thing about this video is that they then brought the couples together and put together two Venn diagrams - what they each had thought the other needed and what they actually needed. So you may both think you need say, emotional support or flattery or an ear to complain to, but is that all you need or what you really gain from the friendship? I think it's really important in all friendships, to really think about what it's like from the other person's point of view because then you can really begin to appreciate how you can help the other person and not just how they can help you.

I think it's so easy to lose friends from being unintentionally selfish - we all do it sometimes I think, but that's our choice. Do we have to continue in that vain? No! But it's our choice if we acknowledge the other person and their needs and how much we want to develop the friendship. This would help make it sustainable in the long term and help to make sure that the give and take is equal. It shouldn't be imbalanced because that isn't really fair at all, but until you realise that, will you be able to address it?

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post! I would thoroughly recommend watching the other videos in both the Science of Love series and also the Science of Happiness because I learn a lot from them and find them really thought provoking. I may even blog more about them in the future so do stay tuned! I hope that you all have a wonderful time doing whatever you're doing and I'll speak to you very soon indeed!

P.s. I loved this still from Julian at the end - I feel like he's a cross between Colin Morgan and Thomas Brodie-Sangster - anyone else see it? :D

Falling in Love with Ideals

Hey guys!

It has occurred to me many a time over the past few years or so that we often fall in love with ideals. This theme is also prevalent in many films and can also translate into real life relationships too where people go into relationships thinking they know the other person really well and that they know exactly how it's going to turn out but what they forget is that they expect their ideals to be the truth rather than getting to know and learn about the actual person who's in front of them.

By doing this, which in some way shape or form I feel we're all guilty of, we place unreal expectations on a person who's merely human and not someone who should be burdened with the expectations of being perfect, doing everything exactly like the movies and all that sort of thing.

Just to wrap up, if you ever make friends with someone or start a relationship with someone, make sure that the person you think you know and the kind of person they are isn't your ideal but is backed up by proof and evidence that you've witnessed first hand, not imagined in your day dreams.

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post and that you have wonderful weeks and that hopefully, I can speak to you soon!<3

Having a backbone

Hey guys! I hope that you're well!

Having a backbone can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people and it only really struck me recently because it made me question whether I have one and whether the fact that my backbone has a questionable existence is really all that important and whether I need to make it more definite.

What made this spring into my mind was a TV show which is all the rage at the moment in England, coming back for its 10th series, the Apprentice. Just to give you guys who haven't heard of it before, the Apprentice features the successful British Entrepreneur Lord Sugar who puts a number of candidates through 12 weeks of gruelling business orientated tasks as two teams in order to find his next business partner. In previous years he's had 12 candidates for 12 weeks, last series he upped it to 16 and this year, to celebrate the 10th birthday of the program, 20 candidates from the start.

At the moment, the series is on its 3rd week, the 4th week being broadcasted on Wednesday here in the UK. In the 2nd week, the teams were asked to produce a type of wearable technology but what happened was, those who had more expertise in the area than others couldn't push their product idea forward enough amongst the hubbub to be able to produce a product that manufacturers would want to purchase. This, Lord Sugar put down to 'not having a backbone'.

This made me think of the way that I feel like I may also have a similar quality in which I try and please everyone in order to not make any enemies, whether that be a frenemy or just a plain old person who hates my guts. I have no idea whether to consider this a flaw because generally the things that you may dispute about in school aren't really worth losing friends over and therefore, should I really be putting my friendships on the line just for a little pride in being right? That I don't think is right in any relationship. Understandably, when it's a question of making money, the bar is a lot higher and the expectations of the teams are as high as can be but the question I have for myself and anyone else who feels like they're kind of like me, do we have the right mentality and would we be able to fight for what is right and risk losing some friends in order to produce something that's the bests? Would we?

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post! Whatever you thought, I would love to hear it in the comments and I hope that you have a lovely weekend and I'll speak to you soon!

The Perfect Person for You

Hey guys! I hope you've been well!

I was thinking a while back and now about a topic that Will Darbyshire brought up in his video named 'A Letter to My Future Wife' and it really hit me when he talked about how she was somewhere in the world, growing up, getting on with her life. It struck me that that is true for all of us. We all have someone out there who is probably the best person for us and yet we're, at least for the moment, on completely different paths, living our lives as we normally would. It feels so mundane thinking that someone who can change you so much and make you feel so great is so intrinsically normal. It's both brilliant and amazing.

For me, it was quite a revelation simply because of the 'Prince Charming' stereotype I guess. Fairy tales and all of that jazz. We forget that amazing people do exist and no, they're not going to be perfect but hey, they're real people and do exist and there is a chance you could meet them one day. Isn't that a lovely thought? :D

I just thought I'd share that little bit of hope and sunshine with you and I don't know what you guys think of this information, whether you agree with me that it's a wonderful thought and revelation or whether you think that there's barely any chance of finding someone that's right for you.

Whichever you choose, you can tell me about it or just go along and have a wonderful day! I hope I can speak to you soon!

Passive Aggressiveness - My Thoughts

Hey guys! I hope that you're as well as can be!

Passive aggressiveness was something that has been stirring itself around my mind in a number of ways.
For example, on Thursday, my French class had a debate, in French, about the legalisation of cannabis, just to get us used to replying to each other in French, articulating ourselves and remembering the vocabulary that we've recently come across. According to our teacher, it was the most lively and engaging debate that she'd ever seen from the Year 12 class and I loved it though I came out of the class feeling like, at least during the class, I may have made some frenemies.

As I may have told you before, my French class is the one class where I know the least people and is also the smallest class of the four I have this year with a grand total of 15 people in it. For many people and I can certainly say I fall into this group when I'm not careful, a debate in class can feel quite personal though whatever happens may not be as close to heart as it comes out as. For the cannabis debate, we were split randomly into two teams and that meant that you just had to fight the corner that you were sat at. Sometimes though, it feels as if it can become a matter of who's right and who's able to get the other person down rather than just a matter of the class and that can become problematic when you're trying to make friends with new people. Nevertheless, in this specific case, I haven't had a French lesson since the debate so I'm hoping no lasting damage will have been had because my French class is pretty awesome.

This also leads me on to another thought that stemmed from this from another debate that we were having in my health class, whether giving into do what another person wants to avoid arguments is the best thing to do. For many of us this was definitely a grey area; isn't it better on a small scale to sacrifice the small things so that everything in the bigger picture can move on more swiftly or is it more detrimental to a relationship when the person who's leading forgets that there are limits to what the other person may feel comfortable and within their boundaries to do? In the end, I think it's probably a bit of both but I guess it's always going to be slightly different in every set of circumstances.

Overall, sometimes passive aggressiveness can be good because debating in a formal manner without being rude or saying things out of turn, though it can feel like you're personally attacking another person, it can actually be really good and can really help you develop your character and the way you face defeat and the way that you learn how to not take it personally and how to actually make good friends out of those who you debate with. However, passive aggressiveness in a relationship can be detrimental when it means that one person is constantly having their opinions repressed and their feelings ignored.

So, what do you guys think on this subject? Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments because I'd love to hear them and I'll speak to you guys soon!

p.s. on this note, I did have a little specific picture that came to mind when I thought of this post, so here ya go :)
p.p.s. who knows what film this is from? :o :D

Time and where it all goes

Hey guys!

It feels like months since I've last spoken to you and indeed it's been almost that long! How crazy! I'm sorry that I haven't been able to find the time or the content to give to you but I do hope that I can find things to show you and to inspire and interest you and that we can continue to have these little conversations at some point during the weeks to come!

I just wanted to ramble a bit today I guess and I feel like today is a day that just showed me how quickly time can pass. It's not really something that you need to be told really but it's something that we all have to be aware of. This was really brought on and reinforced in my brain by Carrie Hope Fletcher, that wonderful woman and it really is hard to live in such a way that you remember that you do need to tell people how important they are to you because a lot of anything could happen between the next time you see them.

Change is so ever present in our lives and we always seem to forget that things won't stay as they are forever. I think that we can sometimes allude ourselves that because of the length of our relationships with the people around us, they must simply know what we are thinking and the way that we know that they're just there for us whenever we need them. That isn't always healthy in a relationship because it can lead to the other person forgetting their worth and not feeling the positivity from the relationship that they're giving to it.

I've felt that way myself before and I have evaluated myself and the way I feel. I know that one friend I have suffers from severe anxiety and therefore is rarely the one to start a conversation, however, just because I may be the one to start the conversation, doesn't mean we can't stem one from there. I have another friend who I used to be able to have rather lengthy conversations with because we met on a forum website where we'd write each other paragraphs and reply every other day or so because time zones wouldn't permit us to really be able to IM each other. Our convos moved to twitter and it's hard to feel that you're feeling the commitment to the friendship, especially seeing as though there are many reasons the friendship shouldn't work because of the distance.

However, having said that, I know that sometimes I feel like if you do constantly message someone, they might be a bit creeped out and a bit overwhelmed but I guess, back to a post I did about one of Carrie's videos, you've got to say so.

In conclusion, time can lead to relationships becoming strained and to people feeling like the commitment isn't showing through the action of the other, however, that isn't always an adequate excuse for not putting as much effort into a relationship as the other person.

I hope this wasn't too much of a random post but please, as always, please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below and I hope to speak to you soon! God Bless!<3

A Couple of Videos that Made Sense

Hey guys, Good Morning and I hope that you're all well and ready for a new week!

I watched two videos by one of my favourite deep talkers on the interwebs, Carrie Hope Fletcher, whose YouTube Channel 'ItsWayPastMyBedTime' is linked here. I find that she talks about topics that really make sense and little, and even big, revelations that she faces within herself on a daily basis.

Her last two videos really hit home for me. The first video was entitled 'Where Do I Stand With You?' and the second was called 'Use Your Words'.

In the first video she talks about how it can be hard when you're in any relationship of sorts and it feels like something has shifted and something fundamental has changed. She talks about how you often feel inclined to ask the other person, 'Where Do I Stand With You?' but then she explores the fact that where you're standing in relation to the other person shouldn't have to be dictated by them because they can't tell exactly how you feel about them and your relationship. The point she made was that you should quite happily tell them where you stand and then at least you're not questioning where you stand with them because that's already sorted and you don't have to worry about that anymore because it's in your hands and not theirs. This can really help you because it gives you one less thing to worry about and you can feel more secure knowing that decision was yours and not theirs because they shouldn't be able to dictate the way you should feel.

This led on nicely to her next video where she talked about (surprise, surprise) using your words. This was, in essence, what it would be nice to get in response to a shift or a change in a relationship. She was talking about how, for example, if you've become romantically involved with someone but then you realise you don't want to have that relationship with them anymore, then you should use your words and tell them. I think this was a very, very valid point in any relationship that goes through a shift because I've had that happen to me before with one of my best friends and to this day, I don't know what happened and why our relationship shifted. I don't know if I did something wrong (which was what it felt like I'd done) - all I know is that she didn't want to be friends anymore. And at the time and to some extent still today, it hurt a lot to feel like you're not even worth an explanation; no-one should have to feel that way.

So, the moral of this post is, if you feel a shift in a relationship, don't let the other person dictate where you stand and how you feel about the other person. If you haven't changed the way you feel about the other person then make sure they know that. If you are the other person then make sure you talk to the person you're in a relationship with and let them know why the shift has happened and where you stand too. COMMUNICATION IS ALWAYS KEY!

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post! As always, leave your thoughts in the comments below and I'll speak to you soon! Ahh, also, I've had Bloglovin' for donkey's years and I don't know if you guys have too but the link to this blog on Bloglovin' is here and if you use it too, add this blog so you can be updated every time I post!

Have a great one and I'll speak to you guys soon!

An Inspiring Blog Recommendation and Life Lessons

Hey guys! I hope that you're all well indeed!

As you can tell from the title of this post, today I wanted to recommend to you a blog because despite the fact I am ever so good at rambling on about YouTubers I love to watch, I haven't really touched on normal bloggers as such. This blog is Marc and Angel Hack Life and I honestly find it one of the most uplifting blogs to read, especially when I'm having a down day or if I feel like taking some advice from people who know how to put it in the right words :)

For example, I'm just about to read their recent post '16 Reasons You're Succeeding in Life (Even if You Don't Feel You Are)' and just from the title, you can see that their posts are made to make you appreciate everything that you have and where you're headed on this little journey that we call life in spite of how you might be feeling at that precise moment. It's truly wonderful and awesome to know that you might get more upliftment and advice from reading a blog post than watching a video simply because it definitely feels like you can fit in more detail into posts than you can on videos. That, in my opinion, is because reading takes less time than watching, especially seeing as though it would definitely prevent YouTubers from having to talk at a million miles an hour too :) That isn't to say that YouTube videos aren't good sources of upliftment and advice too! :)

Anyway, I digress; the last post of theirs that I read was entitled '11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits that We Should Bring Back' and I really took some lessons from this. For example, one of the listed things was learning how to apologise without adding on an excuse because that, arguably, isn't an apology; it's an excuse. I was also quite bad when I was younger at just sprouting out apologies when I'd done something wrong in the hope that it would make everything better but I think that it's important to realise that you'd rather not apologise if you know you're likely to repeat what you've done because then your word is meaningless and that can be truly detrimental to trust within a relationship. This personally really hit home because in spite of the fact I don't do it as much as I did when I was younger, I think we're all culprits of this sometimes and it's really something I want to improve on this summer :)

Another tip they gave was making sure that when you're spending time with another person in any sort of relationship, that you make sure that they have your undivided attention, away from electronics and also away from time constraints, to some extent. Obviously this isn't possible all of the time, it just means that you can give that person all that you have to offer without feeling like you're holding back from them and that's really important when you want to build a strong foundation in any kind of relationship. Spending that quality time is what makes that relationship strong and as it feels like electronics are becoming the norm in social interactions doesn't necessarily mean it's a good reality.

These are some of their posts from their page on Bloglovin'

These are just two tips that I got from one of their posts and I hope that some of you guys are as inspired as I am from their tip! They've even written a book so please do go and check out their blog which is linked here! (Their book is advertised on the right-hand side of their blog)

I hope that your week's are going splendidly thus far and I hope to speak to you guys soon!

Embracing Your Limitations, A Challenge For the Masses.

Hey guys!

This post was inspired by Nick Miller's video called 'Embracing Your Limitations'. I found it inspiring because it wasn't meant to downplay on anyone's aspirations, it was just a reminder to be realistic when you're setting out goals you want to achieve.

I used to find this incredibly hard because I would try and push myself too far and then blame myself and upset myself when I couldn't reach those goals. If any of you guys have stuff you need to get done, please, take it from me, start off light and build because otherwise you could end up more stressed than ever, for a long time! It's not worth it, so do take care of yourselves :)

Another point that popped into my head related to this subject is slightly off-piste but go with me. In my Religious Studies class at school, I learnt that suffering is ultimately caused by free will (that is suffering caused by humans, not necessarily nature). I find this hard to deal with within myself because I hate knowing that I can hurt one person by trying to be kind to another. I hate knowing that in spending too much time with one friend, I can neglect and make another good friend feel bad. In this way, I find it hard to embrace my limitations as a person and accept that in choosing to spend more time with one friend can ultimately have negative consequences on my relationship with another. I think that made sense, I hope does to you!

Before I leave, I would love to recommend you guys to Nick! He's an amazing, down to earth guy with a vision that he's working on bringing to life with Marcus Butler. If you guys aren't really YouTube people, then maybe you would enjoy his snapchat stories at nickmillerza (which is the same as his YouTube Channel).

I feel like my next post may have to be YouTuber recommendations aha, I give them to you practically every post so maybe one place to put them all wouldn't be an all bad idea :)

I'll speak to you guys soon and I hope you have a wonderful week ahead!