I've wanted to write this post ever since I saw a specific video from Soul Pancake and the awesome Julian and their series 'The Science of Love'. This video specifically intrigued me from it's title (of course) which was 'Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?' which of course is probably one of the most asked questions ever. But when I watched the video, what intrigued me most was how the pairs reacted to one particular set of question right at the beginning of the video and whether you have a friend of the opposite sex who you're close to or not, I honestly thought that it'd be great to share with you guys!
So right at the beginning of the video, each of the partners were shown a velcro board with qualities on it and they were asked to place inside the circle what they thought they needed from the other person in their friendship. That, of course, was the easy part!
Afterwards, the partners were then asked to consider what their partner needed out of their friendship and for many of them, they hadn't actually consciously considered this before! This led to it taking more time than you might've expected from good friends! However, it was also nice in some ways for them to be able to take the opportunity to actually consider the question because so often in friendships, we're so much more concerned with what we're getting out of it and if we're having our needs met, but what about the other person?
The awesome thing about this video is that they then brought the couples together and put together two Venn diagrams - what they each had thought the other needed and what they actually needed. So you may both think you need say, emotional support or flattery or an ear to complain to, but is that all you need or what you really gain from the friendship? I think it's really important in all friendships, to really think about what it's like from the other person's point of view because then you can really begin to appreciate how you can help the other person and not just how they can help you.
I think it's so easy to lose friends from being unintentionally selfish - we all do it sometimes I think, but that's our choice. Do we have to continue in that vain? No! But it's our choice if we acknowledge the other person and their needs and how much we want to develop the friendship. This would help make it sustainable in the long term and help to make sure that the give and take is equal. It shouldn't be imbalanced because that isn't really fair at all, but until you realise that, will you be able to address it?
I hope that you guys enjoyed this post! I would thoroughly recommend watching the other videos in both the Science of Love series and also the Science of Happiness because I learn a lot from them and find them really thought provoking. I may even blog more about them in the future so do stay tuned! I hope that you all have a wonderful time doing whatever you're doing and I'll speak to you very soon indeed!
P.s. I loved this still from Julian at the end - I feel like he's a cross between Colin Morgan and Thomas Brodie-Sangster - anyone else see it? :D
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