Hey guys! I hope that you're well!
So a few posts ago, I talked about the internet being like a house with many rooms and today, I want to share with you a new experience that I've had in this house that is my relationship with other people on the internet and something I didn't realise before.
So in the past couple of days, I've made the most awesome new friend on the internet through Facebook and awesome for a couple of reasons that I'd like to share with you before we go onto the crux of our discussion.
Numero uno, I actually know the guy irl and he's two years younger than me. We went to the same middle school and now because we're at the same high school, we can share a lot about teachers and about experiences and about the town that we live in. I've not been able to do that with someone on the internet in ages and it's been so refreshing! Numero dos, because he's younger than me, I've been able to offer him my advice and experience about exams and it makes me so happy being able to reassure someone who's going through what I've been through and being able to help. Always a wonderful feeling!
Now onto the crux of what I've discovered and that is, he replies so quickly! I don't think I've ever held out such a long conversation with such rapid responses in ages and don't get me wrong, the conversation is wonderful but whoaaaaaa. Breathe. First of all, I don't want this to come across as me complaining because honestly, everyone's different when it comes to social media just like how we're all different in our vernacular in real life. But what I've realised, especially with the socially packed day I've had, is that breathing space is so important, to have time to just relax and absorb what's happened.
Having constant awesome conversation doesn't really give you time to appreciate it because you feel like you have to respond and keep it going. I know with some of my best internet friends, I love being able to come away and just have the few things that we talked about going through my mind and not having to worry about forgetting them or not being able to process my stance on them. That breathing time just to be organically with yourself, as you would be without the internet or at least without the presence of other people is so important. I know that if I try and sustain the conversation, I will end up becoming more and more introverted because I'll crave that alone time more and more.
There's definitely a balance to be struck somewhere in the middle. Social media can be really unhealthy because it creates an environment that wouldn't happen irl, as I discussed in my other blog post. I think generally, it's really important to not be afraid offending someone and just take a break to be with yourself.
I don't know if this comes from some sort of fear of silence? I was talking about it with a friend of mine and I guess on the internet, you don't necessarily always get organic silences like you would irl. You don't have the physical cues to go off of about if someone wants to say something or if they're thinking or doing something else. It's a whole different ball game!
Finally, you guys all know this but I know with me, I'm such a big culprit of this and it's just having a lot of exciting stuff to share. If you're talking to someone and they have to do all of the listening then it's not a conversation, it's a monologue. But listening's not just not talking, it's taking it in and being excited and interested and I think it takes a lot more than you might originally think.
But anyway, what do you guys think on the topic? I'd love to hear it :D
I hope that you guys all have wonderful days and I'll talk to you very soon indeed :)
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts
Thursday, 21 May 2015
Sunday, 10 May 2015
The Many Roomed House of the Internet
Hey guys! I hope that you're all having wonderfully present days!
This little analogy sprung into my mind when I was considering the phenomenon that is communicating to people all across the internet and how that compares to in real life. The main thing that struck me was the fact that on the internet, it's very possible to be talking to more than two people all at once and to be having completely different conversations. I've done that with around 3-4 people all at once and it can be quite overwhelming at times!
But what really struck me was the fact that we would never be able to do this in real life. You'd never talk to that many people about different things all at once, talking to that many would only work if you were all in one group being a part of the same conversation. This led me to think about how if you were to do this in real life, it'd be almost like each conversation taking place in a different room and how if you wanted to talk to that many people about different things, it would never happen. You'd never be able to up and leave a person in one room to go and continue a conversation from before with another person in another room. It'd be so immensely rude and diabolical in real life and impossible that the fact that this phenomenon is possible with the internet is quite amazing and definitely a big change from how we're used to operating in social situations!
This was brought on because of me trying to get hold of a friend who I usually talk to around the same time everyday. What made me sad was the fact that they felt like they weren't doing very good multi-tasking because they weren't able to switch their attention from the group of people in one room with which they were having a lot of fun, to me, in a completely different room with a different atmosphere altogether. I didn't like the fact that somehow not being able to be in two places at once and give two different sets of people the same amount of presence was somehow bad because it's not really how things are supposed to operate. I just felt bad that they felt like they had to leave the other room to visit the room I was in when really, I didn't really have to be there at all. I could leave the house or had I known they were entertaining others, not come at all and not create that thought in the back of their mind and make it harder to enjoy that social occasion.
All in all, what I gained from this was the fact that if we're going to try and use the internet to communicate, we do also have to understand how much differently we have to operate ourselves and the parameters we set ourselves because of how much differently it works to in real life. We shouldn't feel like we're somehow failing because we've not managed to align our parameters to how much we can handle to the reality of how much presence we can actually realistically give. Multi-tasking in real life is much easier because the tasks are things we can see and are tangible and can be understood. People aren't always the same and having to get your head around that, especially with the phenomenon that is the internet, can be quite a hard balance to strike, especially when you're trying to live your real life reality at the same time!
I hope that this made some sort of sense guys! I'd love to hear what you think on the subject :D I hope that you all have wonderful weeks and I'll speak to you very, very soon indeed!
This little analogy sprung into my mind when I was considering the phenomenon that is communicating to people all across the internet and how that compares to in real life. The main thing that struck me was the fact that on the internet, it's very possible to be talking to more than two people all at once and to be having completely different conversations. I've done that with around 3-4 people all at once and it can be quite overwhelming at times!
But what really struck me was the fact that we would never be able to do this in real life. You'd never talk to that many people about different things all at once, talking to that many would only work if you were all in one group being a part of the same conversation. This led me to think about how if you were to do this in real life, it'd be almost like each conversation taking place in a different room and how if you wanted to talk to that many people about different things, it would never happen. You'd never be able to up and leave a person in one room to go and continue a conversation from before with another person in another room. It'd be so immensely rude and diabolical in real life and impossible that the fact that this phenomenon is possible with the internet is quite amazing and definitely a big change from how we're used to operating in social situations!
This was brought on because of me trying to get hold of a friend who I usually talk to around the same time everyday. What made me sad was the fact that they felt like they weren't doing very good multi-tasking because they weren't able to switch their attention from the group of people in one room with which they were having a lot of fun, to me, in a completely different room with a different atmosphere altogether. I didn't like the fact that somehow not being able to be in two places at once and give two different sets of people the same amount of presence was somehow bad because it's not really how things are supposed to operate. I just felt bad that they felt like they had to leave the other room to visit the room I was in when really, I didn't really have to be there at all. I could leave the house or had I known they were entertaining others, not come at all and not create that thought in the back of their mind and make it harder to enjoy that social occasion.
All in all, what I gained from this was the fact that if we're going to try and use the internet to communicate, we do also have to understand how much differently we have to operate ourselves and the parameters we set ourselves because of how much differently it works to in real life. We shouldn't feel like we're somehow failing because we've not managed to align our parameters to how much we can handle to the reality of how much presence we can actually realistically give. Multi-tasking in real life is much easier because the tasks are things we can see and are tangible and can be understood. People aren't always the same and having to get your head around that, especially with the phenomenon that is the internet, can be quite a hard balance to strike, especially when you're trying to live your real life reality at the same time!
I hope that this made some sort of sense guys! I'd love to hear what you think on the subject :D I hope that you all have wonderful weeks and I'll speak to you very, very soon indeed!
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