Hello all! Happy New Year :D
It's been a while but today I'd like to share with you a double response to Matt's blog, in particular his two most recent posts (here and here) which I have really enjoyed mulling over and thinking about. Definitely check it out for daily awesomeness!
So the first blog post I'd like to respond to today talks about the Mind Movie that we all have going on in our minds. It's the childish mind which is separate from ourselves that likes to take us away from where we'd like to go with its wants and needs and complaints. So today, I'd like to give you guys an insight into my mind movie, what it tells me and how I counteract it because more often than not, it is wrong.
My mind movie often has me believing that staying up late is a very good idea and that isn't necessarily good because it means I can't always work at full potential the next day because my mind clouds. I feel like my expectations tend to become harder to tackle because it becomes much more clouded by my need to sleep and feel more well rested. It makes me believe that I don't have the energy or the mindset to do what I'd like to do and this frustrates me immensely because although I do feel better after having slept, I lose time and then it just becomes a vicious circle.
The main thing I'm struggling with is priorities. I have so many things I want to do, especially keeping good relations with friends and doing well in school. It makes it hard to make sure that I realise what I need to do to get where I get to now and not just what feels right in this moment. Because as I've said before, all we have is the present moment and if I can't do the right thing now for the future, what on earth will happen to me? How do I prioritise? Grrrr........
I also then struggle with is keeping my mind out of the movie when in routine and when doing things that I can do as if it's the first time but other times I just lose where I am and get lost in the depths of my imagination.
It loves to tell me that I'm doing enough but also that friends don't believe I matter. That I don't really matter in the peripheral but I know how to combat that thought, remembering that I'm always a contribution and seeing the good that I do and why I do it. Mattering is hard sometimes though because once I realise that I'm a good person, it's sometimes hard to believe why I should matter and why I should expect to matter. I think this comes from the investment of time but expecting something in return is where the problem then lies.
I think another of the things that I face is making sure I don't expect anything from strangers too. Just because you give kindness to the world, doesn't mean it doesn't have to give it to you back with that same person. It comes around for sure but it's so important to remember that you are not yourself to everyone. You are who they perceive you as through their world view and through what they value. You cannot control that. I think it's also important to not expect that from friends but how much of what you see of a person is who they are? Sure, their lack of presence could tell you something about them but does that tell you anything about who they are and who they want to be? Not necessarily.
That isn't to say that not looking deeply into the present can't be joyful but I would have to say your imagination can't provide you the joy that you can get in the reality of the moment. If you're truly present, you can't doubt what you experience because it's full of purpose. That's what matters.
Going onto the second blog post, seeing life as a video game and seeing that there are things you can control and cannot control is such an interesting analogy! Constantly not only accepting reality but seeing it as something that you can affect and not just as something that flies by. But that's only if you ground yourself in reality and you see the story as it happens. TOO COOL!
I think that's probably enough rambling for today ahaha, just making up for lost time, I hope you all have a wonderful time doing what you're doing and who knows, perhaps you'll see me around sometime soon!
Oooooh btw guys, I started youtubing. You might have missed that ahah, here's the channel :)
