BEDA Day Twenty Eight - Impermanence and Acceptance

Hey guys! I hope that you're well!

Here's a random late night thought for you from a little sleep deprived Zainab.

Friends well and truly come and go and it's really touch and go. You don't control other people so it's not something you should ever worry about, especially if you've just been yourself and treated them with respect. Living in the present moment means accepting what is now and that also means that you're thankful for everything that is reality now without becoming falsely attached to the past and the future. Now is really all we have, many moments put together in a long string.

Accepting the fact that some of your best closest friends may not be so in a moment which isn't reality right now is daunting. It's hard to not get attached but it's well and truly worth accepting that like the rest of life, things change and move on.

Definitely a topic that's been on my mind that I may have already blogged about, who knows? A topic and subject I want to try and implement more in my life, hence more emphasis.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and I'll catch you very soon indeed!

Excitement Alonely

Hey guys!

This subject struck me and I don't think I can possibly be the only one who's ever felt this way, but sometimes you get excited and you're jumping all over the walls, all giddy with excitement with glee and joy but there's not anyone you can find who is willing to share that with you. Or just doesn't see the same thing and sometimes with me, it feels like I can't tell anyone who won't share my enthusiasm for whatever it is because I feel like it loses worth because it doesn't receive the same amount of feeling as it does with me.

In some ways, it makes it feel less valid unless someone can share it with me but can feel sort of weird if someone feels exactly the same way? For me, the greatness expands when I can share the feeling with someone and watch them grow happier as a consequence of what I've told them. Then, in my mind, we share more. It's the understanding and empathy that my mind feeds off of and it's something I quite often need which feels quite selfish really.

What scares me is feeling like my excitement is withering away with me because I can't find people irl or on the internet who feel like they genuinely understand where I'm coming from and that makes me sad. But should I? Should I be entitlted to people understanding my excitement and why I feel the way I feel and vice versa or is happiness and love and excitement still as true without the sharing element that feels like it matters so much.

Have you guys ever felt this way? Please do let me know however you like and I hope to speak to you soon! God Bless!<3

Time and where it all goes

Hey guys!

It feels like months since I've last spoken to you and indeed it's been almost that long! How crazy! I'm sorry that I haven't been able to find the time or the content to give to you but I do hope that I can find things to show you and to inspire and interest you and that we can continue to have these little conversations at some point during the weeks to come!

I just wanted to ramble a bit today I guess and I feel like today is a day that just showed me how quickly time can pass. It's not really something that you need to be told really but it's something that we all have to be aware of. This was really brought on and reinforced in my brain by Carrie Hope Fletcher, that wonderful woman and it really is hard to live in such a way that you remember that you do need to tell people how important they are to you because a lot of anything could happen between the next time you see them.

Change is so ever present in our lives and we always seem to forget that things won't stay as they are forever. I think that we can sometimes allude ourselves that because of the length of our relationships with the people around us, they must simply know what we are thinking and the way that we know that they're just there for us whenever we need them. That isn't always healthy in a relationship because it can lead to the other person forgetting their worth and not feeling the positivity from the relationship that they're giving to it.

I've felt that way myself before and I have evaluated myself and the way I feel. I know that one friend I have suffers from severe anxiety and therefore is rarely the one to start a conversation, however, just because I may be the one to start the conversation, doesn't mean we can't stem one from there. I have another friend who I used to be able to have rather lengthy conversations with because we met on a forum website where we'd write each other paragraphs and reply every other day or so because time zones wouldn't permit us to really be able to IM each other. Our convos moved to twitter and it's hard to feel that you're feeling the commitment to the friendship, especially seeing as though there are many reasons the friendship shouldn't work because of the distance.

However, having said that, I know that sometimes I feel like if you do constantly message someone, they might be a bit creeped out and a bit overwhelmed but I guess, back to a post I did about one of Carrie's videos, you've got to say so.

In conclusion, time can lead to relationships becoming strained and to people feeling like the commitment isn't showing through the action of the other, however, that isn't always an adequate excuse for not putting as much effort into a relationship as the other person.

I hope this wasn't too much of a random post but please, as always, please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below and I hope to speak to you soon! God Bless!<3

Optimism and Happiness!

Hey guys! I hope that you're feeling brilliant and beautiful!

This post, is in fact being written later of the same day as the last one and I feel like I've changed my outlook a bit.

Sometimes I feel like being invisible is a great thing, other times, like when earlier today, I feel like I don't really matter but I think I often forget that it's the worth that you give to yourself that often matters the most because changes will always happen and just because you don't make friends that are really close, doesn't mean that you can't just make more friends that you can talk to when there's no-one else to.

I feel like, especially with social media, we forget that every contact that we make with another human being is really special and we should always try and forget that they could just be talking with someone else and perhaps having a more excited conversation. It's especially valuable, I think, to remember that just because they may change the way they stand with other people, doesn't mean that the way that they stand with you and the way you stand with them has to change.

Simple friendships can often mean everything, especially when you're in a new environment and just a person to talk to and to feel comfortable can be so important.

So, to wrap it up a bit earlier than some other posts, don't be afraid to lose friends because the people who matter will stay and the people who go aren't bad, they're different, just like you! :) Appreciate the similarities you find with other people and cherish them because there are billions of people who are all different, so finding friends who understand something about you is really something I personally marvel :)

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post! I feel like it compensates for the less happiness that I felt in my earlier post but please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below! I hope to speak to you soon!

Unpopularity - frustration, blargh

Hey guys! I hope that you're all well!

So last week, I began the next phase of my education - Sixth Form. This is where I'll spend the next two years of my life and where I'll complete my A Levels.

The main problem I feel like I'm facing in this new phase of my life is keeping new friends. I've met some new people but what I feel like is my main problem is that I feel like I have no more to say, I feel like I'm inadequate and that there's no way for me to hold onto new friends because sometimes I don't have the right interests to be able to discuss anything further with them.

For me, this can be for a couple of reasons.

1. As part of my religion, I don't listen to music and this means that a subject that lots of people can slip into quite easy is blocked off for me which means that I can't really use that as a way to get to know a person.
2. I hate gossiping and over the past few years I've come to realise how easy it can be to say something small against someone, especially if they're a teacher because it feels like a role of being a secondary school kid is to always bitch about your least favourite teacher. Though it's definitely a normal thing in student culture, I now feel a lot more hesitant to say much against teachers unless it's something about their teaching style that's going to directly affect the grade that I'm going to get at the end of the year. This means that I don't tend to go down the route of saying something against someone else route to start a new conversation.
3. I don't really watch many TV shows either. That's simply because I know that I'll end up getting sucked in and I'll lose a heap load of time I could've been using else where. It also begs the question that how much can you talk about one program? The only thing I can use to justify this question is if new episodes have been airing and I think that's one great thing about YouTube because there's always new videos going up and there are always new successes and comedies to be enjoyed and celebrated.
4. I'm a hermit and don't really go out much. This means that I can't really have many new experiences with new friends to become better friends over and can be quite detrimental to me making new friends which is rather sad.

On a side note which links to my second point, someone once told me to always watch out for the way that someone speaks about other people because this is often the manner in which they will talk about you to others. I'm lucky enough to not know if anyone talks about me (probably not anyone really at all because I'm practically invisible) but that is something I prefer not to see in other people because knowing that they get conversation from other people's mistakes and faults isn't really something I want to hear.

As a conclusion, I feel like whenever there are people who are funnier than me and know of more bands and more TV shows, they're never bound to stay with me because I'm nowhere near the kinds of people that they could be becoming friends with.

I have no idea what you guys will think of this post but please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below and I hope to speak to you soon! 

p.s. If you'd like to me to do a post on my thoughts on Sixth Form so far or any other requests. please do feel free to leave a comment and I'll be happy to look into it :)

A Couple of Videos that Made Sense

Hey guys, Good Morning and I hope that you're all well and ready for a new week!

I watched two videos by one of my favourite deep talkers on the interwebs, Carrie Hope Fletcher, whose YouTube Channel 'ItsWayPastMyBedTime' is linked here. I find that she talks about topics that really make sense and little, and even big, revelations that she faces within herself on a daily basis.

Her last two videos really hit home for me. The first video was entitled 'Where Do I Stand With You?' and the second was called 'Use Your Words'.

In the first video she talks about how it can be hard when you're in any relationship of sorts and it feels like something has shifted and something fundamental has changed. She talks about how you often feel inclined to ask the other person, 'Where Do I Stand With You?' but then she explores the fact that where you're standing in relation to the other person shouldn't have to be dictated by them because they can't tell exactly how you feel about them and your relationship. The point she made was that you should quite happily tell them where you stand and then at least you're not questioning where you stand with them because that's already sorted and you don't have to worry about that anymore because it's in your hands and not theirs. This can really help you because it gives you one less thing to worry about and you can feel more secure knowing that decision was yours and not theirs because they shouldn't be able to dictate the way you should feel.

This led on nicely to her next video where she talked about (surprise, surprise) using your words. This was, in essence, what it would be nice to get in response to a shift or a change in a relationship. She was talking about how, for example, if you've become romantically involved with someone but then you realise you don't want to have that relationship with them anymore, then you should use your words and tell them. I think this was a very, very valid point in any relationship that goes through a shift because I've had that happen to me before with one of my best friends and to this day, I don't know what happened and why our relationship shifted. I don't know if I did something wrong (which was what it felt like I'd done) - all I know is that she didn't want to be friends anymore. And at the time and to some extent still today, it hurt a lot to feel like you're not even worth an explanation; no-one should have to feel that way.

So, the moral of this post is, if you feel a shift in a relationship, don't let the other person dictate where you stand and how you feel about the other person. If you haven't changed the way you feel about the other person then make sure they know that. If you are the other person then make sure you talk to the person you're in a relationship with and let them know why the shift has happened and where you stand too. COMMUNICATION IS ALWAYS KEY!

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post! As always, leave your thoughts in the comments below and I'll speak to you soon! Ahh, also, I've had Bloglovin' for donkey's years and I don't know if you guys have too but the link to this blog on Bloglovin' is here and if you use it too, add this blog so you can be updated every time I post!

Have a great one and I'll speak to you guys soon!

Embracing Your Limitations, A Challenge For the Masses.

Hey guys!

This post was inspired by Nick Miller's video called 'Embracing Your Limitations'. I found it inspiring because it wasn't meant to downplay on anyone's aspirations, it was just a reminder to be realistic when you're setting out goals you want to achieve.

I used to find this incredibly hard because I would try and push myself too far and then blame myself and upset myself when I couldn't reach those goals. If any of you guys have stuff you need to get done, please, take it from me, start off light and build because otherwise you could end up more stressed than ever, for a long time! It's not worth it, so do take care of yourselves :)

Another point that popped into my head related to this subject is slightly off-piste but go with me. In my Religious Studies class at school, I learnt that suffering is ultimately caused by free will (that is suffering caused by humans, not necessarily nature). I find this hard to deal with within myself because I hate knowing that I can hurt one person by trying to be kind to another. I hate knowing that in spending too much time with one friend, I can neglect and make another good friend feel bad. In this way, I find it hard to embrace my limitations as a person and accept that in choosing to spend more time with one friend can ultimately have negative consequences on my relationship with another. I think that made sense, I hope does to you!

Before I leave, I would love to recommend you guys to Nick! He's an amazing, down to earth guy with a vision that he's working on bringing to life with Marcus Butler. If you guys aren't really YouTube people, then maybe you would enjoy his snapchat stories at nickmillerza (which is the same as his YouTube Channel).

I feel like my next post may have to be YouTuber recommendations aha, I give them to you practically every post so maybe one place to put them all wouldn't be an all bad idea :)

I'll speak to you guys soon and I hope you have a wonderful week ahead!

The Past, The Present, The Future, The Now.

Hey guys!

I've just watched Will Darbyshire's new video which is entitled 'The Now'. Before I go on about his video, I would love to just give him a shout out to you wonderful people reading this post. His videos are always insightful and he just talks about a topic that has struck him and inspired him and I honestly think that the honesty and passion and drive with which he talks makes his videos completely and utterly awesome. On the upside too, they're never all that long, roughly around 3 minutes long so do check out his channel here :)

So his video (which is linked above) was talking about how important it is to live in 'The Now' and it's something I personally feel is important for us all to actively do. As I mentioned in a post previously, this coming September is probably the most daunting thing that I'm facing at the moment in my life. And yet, for me, before September lies two months in which I can have the time of my life. What I want to challenge myself and anyone else who's reading and has got the whole summer ahead of them, is to try and do something new or try and push yourself and make the most of everyday that comes at you.

For me, yesterday I went skateboarding with my best mate Chloë and then got on and did work and that for me was awesome because the more and more time I get to spend with her, the more I appreciate how absolutely blessed I am to have her in my life and the more time I want to spend with her this summer because a) being able to try (and unfortunately fail) at skateboarding with your bestie is probably the best way to do it and b) I've had so few awesome memories with her the past summers that I wish I could do more with her this summer.

Also, it feels like from now onwards, there's going to be more and more that's going to separate me from my friends, whether that just be the fact we go on to do different things in the future or even just from the onset in September when we start doing different subjects. Point being, I don't want to be afraid to create memories with people who make me happy and that is something I want to change from here on out :)

So what do you guys want to get from the present? What kind of new things do you want to experience? Is it something from the comfort of your own bedroom (don't get me wrong, a lot of my summer will be spent there too) or will you try something even more challenging? :o

I'll speak to you guys soon and thank you so much for reading!

YouTube, Forums, Friends

Hey guys!

I just wanted to talk about another amazing upside to being a fan of YouTube.

My first YouTuber, Damon Fizzy has a forum website and I found that becoming a part of it really gave me a lot of confidence in feeling good about how I talked to people and how I could actually help people despite the fact I'd never gone through much myself. I've been rather lucky I think in that regard, I've just been so lucky and I've felt that I've been giving back to the world through helping other people.

I've also made a couple of good friends over forums and I wanted to say, it's not wrong to make friends over the internet at all, just be careful aha, just don't underestimate those friendships either!

It has made me wonder if they're as genuine in real life though, as in if I met my internet friends in real life, would we have become as good friends? I genuinely don't feel like I'm as socially apt in real life and having the safety of a screen and keyboard and time between yourself and your friends means that you can really choose exactly how you want to respond. It makes you wonder how different you actually are to your accidentally created internet persona.

I also love the JacksGap website because of the fact the twins and some of their close friends share such awesome things and honestly, I wouldn't have heard as much about things if it hadn't been for them. They really took forum to another level and if you ever want to read about something interesting, do take a look here. It's just awesome, so many things that you might want to see, all in one place. Their posts are varied and eye-opening as well as completely and utterly just awesome.

I hope that you guys liked this post! The point I wanted to make was the fact that forum websites are awesome for a host of different reasons and you can both make a difference to other people as well as be affected yourself :)

I'll speak to you guys soon :D